Category Archives: why women are great

Sermon illustration for mother's day

Things my Mother taught me:

My mother taught me RELIGION – “You’d better pray that comes out of the carpet”, as well as IRONY – “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about OSMOSIS – “Shut your mouth and eat that corn”, as well as about STAMINA – “You’ll sit there until all that corn is gone.”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION – “Stop acting like your father!” as well as about GENETICS – “You’re just like your father.”

My mother taught me about LOGIC – “Because I said so, that’s why”, as well as MORE LOGIC – “If you fall out of that tree and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION – “Just wait until we get home” or “you just wait until your father gets home”, as well as about Receiving – “You are going to get it when we get home (or when your father gets home).”

My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM – “Look at that dirt on the back of your neck!” as well as all about the WEATHER – “Your room looks like a tornado went through it!”

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you and your sister are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house.”

My mother taught me HUMOR – “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me”, as well as all about my ROOTS – “Shut that door! Do you think you were born in a barn?”

And last but not least, my mother taught me JUSTICE – “One day, you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out to be just like you!”

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